Body Psychology
Body, Mind, spirit Integration
Body-Centered Therapy
A wholistic approach to resolving unrest in our body/mind/spirit
Learn to heal yourself by bringing your life into focus
You are Sunshine.
Nothing is worth thinking about to cover it up.
Cover it up and you will toil within.
The only reason you are on Earth is to enjoy the Beloved within.
- Current day Philosopher
Nothing is worth thinking about to cover it up.
Cover it up and you will toil within.
The only reason you are on Earth is to enjoy the Beloved within.
- Current day Philosopher
Statement
"The purpose of Body Psychology and my work is to promote true understanding of ourselves, others, and life in kindness and to end unnecessary pain and suffering. I am committed to who you first are. I bring focus, detail, openness, and warmth to my work."
"One only has to read the most basic of the literature on the function of the brain, the nervous system and the physiology of stress, to understand that the mind and the body are undeniably linked."
- Babbett Rothschild
- Babbett Rothschild
What is Body Psychology?
Don works with the
body-mind connection with a modality he named, Body Psychology. The aim of
Body Psychology is to work with your body and mind simultaneously.
Most fundamentally the purpose of Body Psychology is to help you discover and release what is being held in your body/mind/spirit. It combines both bodywork and body-centered psychology techniques to help you accomplish this. During a Body Psychology session the touch will vary from very light to deep depending on your interests and needs. With Don's help and guidance you will be invited to first become aware of the sensations, feelings, and beliefs that are being held in your body, explore them as needed, and then in a gentle, natural and organic way let them go.
On a deeper level, the focus of Body Psychology is to assist, guide, and partner with you to discover, explore, and witness the depths and breadths of your inner-world, with gentleness and respect. This inner world, its anatomy, consist of such things as our inherent nature, stillness, flow, beauty, love, ancient realities, new realities. There is not limit to what can be discovered.
However, most of us keep ourselves protected from this inner reality. In Body Psychology we aim to find out what patterns and ancestral patterns are unconsciously being used to block yourself from this inner stillness and flow.
It begins with getting reacquainted and strengthening your connection with source, our innate innermost true nature, within you. This is your anchor. From here, while anchored in your true nature, discovering, exploring and then integrating the issues, our misunderstandings, that are being held in the tissues of body / mind / spirit. And then as an amazing and wonderful unforeseen but reliable occurrence, healing happens naturally and organically. There is a specific way that the body holds onto the past, its background and experience. This experience is held or "locked-up" in the cells as cellular memory. When treated with kindness and respect the body will reveal its past: its hopes, dreams, fears and ultimately its connection with the universe. Learn to understand the language your body and of the wounded parts of your body in order to unlock the old cellular memory leaving room for the new.
Body Psychology is an integral way to heal, that works. It resolves your symptoms by taking care of your core, (the root), in a respectful, gradual, and gentle way. It is a highly educational and experiential process by which you learn and experience step-by-step healing and how healing occurs. It gives you the fortunate and wonderful opportunity to take back the responsibility for healing and life.
Body Psychology is a conglomeration of numerous healing modalities. Some of the primary influences include Neo-Reichian Breathwork (www.goodtherapy.org/reichian-breathwork.html), Trauma Energetics(www.traumaenergetics.com) , Somatic Experiencing, (www.traumahealing.com), Reference Point Therapy (www.referencepointtherapy.com), and Family Constellation therapy (www.ConstellationCurrents.ca). Most of these modalities comes out of the body-centered psychotherapy field where the body is the focus of the work. The body is used as the access to and source of information and platform for change, instead of our thoughts, beliefs, or life story. The body stores a vast amount of information and it always tells the truth, unlike the common use of the mind. The body is the way to enter the energetic holding pattern of tension and this is how and where the healing takes place.
The other massively significant influences to Body Psychology comes from some of the wholistic educators including John deRuiter (www.johnderuiter.com), Carl Rogers (www.nrogers.com/carlrogersbio.html), and Byron Katie(www.thework.com).
Most fundamentally the purpose of Body Psychology is to help you discover and release what is being held in your body/mind/spirit. It combines both bodywork and body-centered psychology techniques to help you accomplish this. During a Body Psychology session the touch will vary from very light to deep depending on your interests and needs. With Don's help and guidance you will be invited to first become aware of the sensations, feelings, and beliefs that are being held in your body, explore them as needed, and then in a gentle, natural and organic way let them go.
On a deeper level, the focus of Body Psychology is to assist, guide, and partner with you to discover, explore, and witness the depths and breadths of your inner-world, with gentleness and respect. This inner world, its anatomy, consist of such things as our inherent nature, stillness, flow, beauty, love, ancient realities, new realities. There is not limit to what can be discovered.
However, most of us keep ourselves protected from this inner reality. In Body Psychology we aim to find out what patterns and ancestral patterns are unconsciously being used to block yourself from this inner stillness and flow.
It begins with getting reacquainted and strengthening your connection with source, our innate innermost true nature, within you. This is your anchor. From here, while anchored in your true nature, discovering, exploring and then integrating the issues, our misunderstandings, that are being held in the tissues of body / mind / spirit. And then as an amazing and wonderful unforeseen but reliable occurrence, healing happens naturally and organically. There is a specific way that the body holds onto the past, its background and experience. This experience is held or "locked-up" in the cells as cellular memory. When treated with kindness and respect the body will reveal its past: its hopes, dreams, fears and ultimately its connection with the universe. Learn to understand the language your body and of the wounded parts of your body in order to unlock the old cellular memory leaving room for the new.
Body Psychology is an integral way to heal, that works. It resolves your symptoms by taking care of your core, (the root), in a respectful, gradual, and gentle way. It is a highly educational and experiential process by which you learn and experience step-by-step healing and how healing occurs. It gives you the fortunate and wonderful opportunity to take back the responsibility for healing and life.
Body Psychology is a conglomeration of numerous healing modalities. Some of the primary influences include Neo-Reichian Breathwork (www.goodtherapy.org/reichian-breathwork.html), Trauma Energetics(www.traumaenergetics.com) , Somatic Experiencing, (www.traumahealing.com), Reference Point Therapy (www.referencepointtherapy.com), and Family Constellation therapy (www.ConstellationCurrents.ca). Most of these modalities comes out of the body-centered psychotherapy field where the body is the focus of the work. The body is used as the access to and source of information and platform for change, instead of our thoughts, beliefs, or life story. The body stores a vast amount of information and it always tells the truth, unlike the common use of the mind. The body is the way to enter the energetic holding pattern of tension and this is how and where the healing takes place.
The other massively significant influences to Body Psychology comes from some of the wholistic educators including John deRuiter (www.johnderuiter.com), Carl Rogers (www.nrogers.com/carlrogersbio.html), and Byron Katie(www.thework.com).
Everything is an act of love or a call for love
- A Course in Miracles
The 4 F's - Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn Response
Learn about the 4Fs (Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn) Response. Commonly found with people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is discussed here by Peter Walker, M.A. in his paper: A Trauma Typology in Complex PTSD. Click here to read
Or this link: http://www.pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm
You can also learn more about the Fight , Flight, Freeze response in Peter Levine's Book Waking the Tiger - In his work Somatic Experiencing - http://www.traumahealing.com.
Peter Levine explains int this you tube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByalBx85iC8
Or this link: http://www.pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm
You can also learn more about the Fight , Flight, Freeze response in Peter Levine's Book Waking the Tiger - In his work Somatic Experiencing - http://www.traumahealing.com.
Peter Levine explains int this you tube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByalBx85iC8
When inward tenderness
finds the secret hurt,
pain itself will crack the rock and Ah!
let the soul emerge.
- Rumi
finds the secret hurt,
pain itself will crack the rock and Ah!
let the soul emerge.
- Rumi
Related You-Tube's / Ted's / Web Sites
On Body Awareness of Oneness
Jill Bolte Taylor - My Stroke of Insight – Ted Talk - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU
On Happiness / Depression
"Happy angle" - A One minute Short - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFaKrdjCjiI&feature=player_embedded
(In the deepest darkest pit within us lays an angel - a reason to have trust have faith and courage).
On Death and Dying
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross - On Death and Dying - http://www.psicoterapia-palermo.it/PDFS/On%20Death%20and%20Dying_Kubler%20Ross%20Elizabeth.pdf
On Life and Death
Byron Katie - to read this short note click here
On loss of the feminine
A definition of PTSD or to De-sacralize
On Pain
Lormimer Moslie -Why Things Hurt - Why is your body giving you a pain response? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwd-wLdIHjs
Neil Pearson - Brain Plastisity - http://www.lifeisnow.ca - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66LP2XdyDxA
Silje Endersen Rme - Back Pain study: Major contributor life circumstances / stress - https://youtu.be/tiwmVTScusg
John E. Sarno, M.D. - 30 years of clinical experience of how we hold our stress in our back – (The Mind-Body Connection)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B2IE0o7diU
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjG-8GE2Wf4
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRXCRxNMN_Q
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYIOOURMuS0
On Trauma
Understanding how trauma gets lodged in the body - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByalBx85iC8
On Trauma Release - (TRE - Trauma Releasing Exercises) - https://traumaprevention.com/
Explaination - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67R974D8swM
How to - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQBUpMZajv8&t=1838s
Example - the military - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WReAjA7Nx4M&t=255s
On Vulnerability - Brene Brown
1. http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/ger/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UoMXF73j0c
Jill Bolte Taylor - My Stroke of Insight – Ted Talk - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU
On Happiness / Depression
"Happy angle" - A One minute Short - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFaKrdjCjiI&feature=player_embedded
(In the deepest darkest pit within us lays an angel - a reason to have trust have faith and courage).
On Death and Dying
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross - On Death and Dying - http://www.psicoterapia-palermo.it/PDFS/On%20Death%20and%20Dying_Kubler%20Ross%20Elizabeth.pdf
On Life and Death
Byron Katie - to read this short note click here
On loss of the feminine
A definition of PTSD or to De-sacralize
On Pain
Lormimer Moslie -Why Things Hurt - Why is your body giving you a pain response? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwd-wLdIHjs
Neil Pearson - Brain Plastisity - http://www.lifeisnow.ca - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66LP2XdyDxA
Silje Endersen Rme - Back Pain study: Major contributor life circumstances / stress - https://youtu.be/tiwmVTScusg
John E. Sarno, M.D. - 30 years of clinical experience of how we hold our stress in our back – (The Mind-Body Connection)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B2IE0o7diU
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjG-8GE2Wf4
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRXCRxNMN_Q
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYIOOURMuS0
On Trauma
Understanding how trauma gets lodged in the body - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByalBx85iC8
On Trauma Release - (TRE - Trauma Releasing Exercises) - https://traumaprevention.com/
Explaination - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67R974D8swM
How to - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQBUpMZajv8&t=1838s
Example - the military - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WReAjA7Nx4M&t=255s
On Vulnerability - Brene Brown
1. http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/ger/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UoMXF73j0c
The wound is the place where the Light enters you.
- Rumi
- Rumi
Related Books
Alice Miller - The Drama of the Gifted Child
- For your own Good
Amanda Lindhout & Sara Corbett - A House in the Sky (An extraordinary narrative of a women held hostage for 14 months and her story of forgiveness and spiritual triumph)
David Berceli PHD – Revolutionary Trauma Release Process - (Transcend your toughest times)
Donald Epstein - The 12 stages of Healing – (a Network Approach to Wholeness)
Donna Jackson Nakazawa - The Last Best Cure – (Healing chronic illness through mindfulness and meditation)
John E. Sarno, M.D. - Healing Back Pain – (The Mind-Body Connection)
- The Mindbody Prescription Healing the body - (Healing the Pain)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B2IE0o7diU
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjG-8GE2Wf4
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRXCRxNMN_Q
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYIOOURMuS0
Laurel Mellin - Wired For Joy – A Revolutionary Method for Creating Happiness from Within
Mark Nepo - The Book of Awakening
Michael Brown - The Presence Process
Peter A. Levine PhD. - Waking the Tiger
- In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness
Pete Walker - Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: (A Guide and map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma)
http://www.pete-walker.com
Susanne Scurlock-Durana - Full Body Presence - (view and work with body-mind)
Tara Barch – Radical Acceptance - https://www.tarabrach.com
William Redpath - Trauma Energetics - a study of held energy systems
Gabor Mate - In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
- When the body says no
- For your own Good
Amanda Lindhout & Sara Corbett - A House in the Sky (An extraordinary narrative of a women held hostage for 14 months and her story of forgiveness and spiritual triumph)
David Berceli PHD – Revolutionary Trauma Release Process - (Transcend your toughest times)
Donald Epstein - The 12 stages of Healing – (a Network Approach to Wholeness)
Donna Jackson Nakazawa - The Last Best Cure – (Healing chronic illness through mindfulness and meditation)
John E. Sarno, M.D. - Healing Back Pain – (The Mind-Body Connection)
- The Mindbody Prescription Healing the body - (Healing the Pain)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2B2IE0o7diU
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjG-8GE2Wf4
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRXCRxNMN_Q
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYIOOURMuS0
Laurel Mellin - Wired For Joy – A Revolutionary Method for Creating Happiness from Within
Mark Nepo - The Book of Awakening
Michael Brown - The Presence Process
Peter A. Levine PhD. - Waking the Tiger
- In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness
Pete Walker - Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: (A Guide and map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma)
http://www.pete-walker.com
Susanne Scurlock-Durana - Full Body Presence - (view and work with body-mind)
Tara Barch – Radical Acceptance - https://www.tarabrach.com
William Redpath - Trauma Energetics - a study of held energy systems
Gabor Mate - In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
- When the body says no
Why Choose Body Psychology?
Resolve Unnecessary Tension
You can find relief from unnecessary tension, stress, anxiety, suffering and chronic pain being held in the body/mind/spirit.
Heal Physical and Emotional Trauma
Find relief from physical or emotional trauma and abuse being stored in the body/mind/spirit. This could include depression, anxiety, phobias, and birth trauma.
Chronic Pain Relief
This could include: Chronic aches and pains in the joints such as head, neck, shoulders, elbows, spine, hips, knees, ankles and feet this can also include headaches, migraines and toothaches.
Rehabilitation
Recover from an injury, accident, or surgery. Examples of this include sport injuries, falls, and accidents including automobile.
The Body-Mind Connection
You can find relief from unnecessary tension, stress, anxiety, suffering and chronic pain being held in the body/mind/spirit.
Heal Physical and Emotional Trauma
Find relief from physical or emotional trauma and abuse being stored in the body/mind/spirit. This could include depression, anxiety, phobias, and birth trauma.
Chronic Pain Relief
This could include: Chronic aches and pains in the joints such as head, neck, shoulders, elbows, spine, hips, knees, ankles and feet this can also include headaches, migraines and toothaches.
Rehabilitation
Recover from an injury, accident, or surgery. Examples of this include sport injuries, falls, and accidents including automobile.
The Body-Mind Connection
- Deepen your body-mind connection, strengthen your self-awareness, self-confidence, and discover and trust in the vast terrain of your internal anatomy that is your body.
- This is an educational process. You will learn how discontent gets lodged into the body, how it continues to reside there, and how to gently release it.
- This is a deepening process. You will have the opportunity to experience, recognize and see greater meaning in your life and to life itself.
The longest journey you will ever take is the 18 inches from your head to your heart
Quotes
"As soon as there is pain, you know the gold is just beneath"
- John de Ruiter
"So the pain-body doesn’t want you to observe it directly and see it for what it is. The moment you observe it, feel its energy field within you, and take your attention into it, the identification is broken. A higher dimension of consciousness has come in. I call it presence. You are now the witness or the watcher of the pain-body. This means that it cannot use you anymore by pretending to be you, and it can no longer replenish itself through you. You have found your own innermost strength. You have accessed the power of now.”
- Eckhart Tolle
“That which haunts us will always find a way out. The wound will not heal unless given witness. The shadow that follows us is the way in.”
- Rumi
“This being human is a guesthouse, every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of it’s furniture, still, treat each guest honorable. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice. Meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
- Rumi
"The Healing is not in pain relief, it is in the opening of new capacity"
- John de Ruiter
" There is no coming conscious without pain. People will do everything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."
- C.G. Jung
"The Obstacle is the path"
- C.G. Jung
"When it is dark enough you can see the stars"
- From a coffee table in Kelowna BC
"None of it will heal on its own or over time. It all heals when u live being okay as is within. When you allow your powers rest, then everything heals"
- John de Ruiter
"Instead of relating to helping some one, relate to meaning that is there presently there in the other. That all you are doing is removing a little bit of covering. It is all about the meaning that is there and that you can see.”
- John de Ruiter
Walt Whitman….From Passage to India - Click Here for Poem
- John de Ruiter
"So the pain-body doesn’t want you to observe it directly and see it for what it is. The moment you observe it, feel its energy field within you, and take your attention into it, the identification is broken. A higher dimension of consciousness has come in. I call it presence. You are now the witness or the watcher of the pain-body. This means that it cannot use you anymore by pretending to be you, and it can no longer replenish itself through you. You have found your own innermost strength. You have accessed the power of now.”
- Eckhart Tolle
“That which haunts us will always find a way out. The wound will not heal unless given witness. The shadow that follows us is the way in.”
- Rumi
“This being human is a guesthouse, every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of it’s furniture, still, treat each guest honorable. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice. Meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
- Rumi
"The Healing is not in pain relief, it is in the opening of new capacity"
- John de Ruiter
" There is no coming conscious without pain. People will do everything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."
- C.G. Jung
"The Obstacle is the path"
- C.G. Jung
"When it is dark enough you can see the stars"
- From a coffee table in Kelowna BC
"None of it will heal on its own or over time. It all heals when u live being okay as is within. When you allow your powers rest, then everything heals"
- John de Ruiter
"Instead of relating to helping some one, relate to meaning that is there presently there in the other. That all you are doing is removing a little bit of covering. It is all about the meaning that is there and that you can see.”
- John de Ruiter
Walt Whitman….From Passage to India - Click Here for Poem
Testimonials
"On a family member’s recommendation, I started seeing
Don Bruce to help with my problem with night terrors. I had suffered from them
my entire life, but at that time they were getting particularly intense.
Through Body Psychology, Don was able to help me all but eliminate the problem.
The healing of mind through body work, something physically therapeutic, all on
its own, was truly incredible. While I was forced to end the therapy earlier
than I would have liked, due to my having to move for work, the foundation that
was laid has continued to help me in all aspects of my life. I heartily recommend
Don’s wholistic approach to anyone seeking to address whatever difficulties
they might face, mental or physical."
- Dylan
" I began sessions with Don when I felt other modalities were not reaching the chronic aches, pain and tightness in my body. Through the Rolfing and Don's sensitive, compassionate and personal approach, I was able to release that tension. And just as important, I began to make connections and develop an awareness of how my body has reacted to such things as emotional pain, fear and grief. I gained insights into the effect that some of my past and present experiences and relationships have had on my body. Knowing that I don't have to live with the tightness and aching has been a relief. And the openness and softness that I now have in previously tight areas of my body is transferring to an openness in my outlook, my life and my relationships."
- Donna M
"I was referred to Don Bruce by a massage therapist because my body was so tight. I had been having trouble with some movement and wondered if something was seriously wrong. Working with Don on a physical and emotional level, through the combination of bodywork and talking, has been enormously helpful and valuable. I have recommended others looking for someone to work with, either on a physical level or for body-mind work, to Don Bruce. I continue to be grateful that Don offers this work to us in Edmonton."
- Anonymous
"After suffering for years with pelvic pain and all-over pain as a side effect, I decided to pay a visit to Don. I didn’t really know what I was getting into, but at that point, I was willing to try anything. The amazing and intuitive work Don does with body psychology freed a lot of emotional holding that was going on, which finally set the stage for the healing to move to a new plateau. I would go as far as to say that not only did he begin my healing journey, but the healing of those who are close to me as well."
- Anonymous
“Being a molested child, I have sought all kinds of therapy for many years. Sessions with Don have changed my life profoundly; it is the best therapy I have experienced. I used to feel that I didn’t belong in the world, that I was a mistake somehow. I was scared to answer the phone -- the doorbell sent me straight into a panic attack. Since working with Don, I feel like I can go to the grocery store and it is OK for me to be there. I feel I am no better but no worse than anyone else, and that I belong on the planet.”
- Anonymous
I want to thank you Don for your help and your input, you were really helpful and encouraging, and introduced me to some different views which I find very interesting and am now using in my understanding of both myself and others.
- Gerry C
- Dylan
" I began sessions with Don when I felt other modalities were not reaching the chronic aches, pain and tightness in my body. Through the Rolfing and Don's sensitive, compassionate and personal approach, I was able to release that tension. And just as important, I began to make connections and develop an awareness of how my body has reacted to such things as emotional pain, fear and grief. I gained insights into the effect that some of my past and present experiences and relationships have had on my body. Knowing that I don't have to live with the tightness and aching has been a relief. And the openness and softness that I now have in previously tight areas of my body is transferring to an openness in my outlook, my life and my relationships."
- Donna M
"I was referred to Don Bruce by a massage therapist because my body was so tight. I had been having trouble with some movement and wondered if something was seriously wrong. Working with Don on a physical and emotional level, through the combination of bodywork and talking, has been enormously helpful and valuable. I have recommended others looking for someone to work with, either on a physical level or for body-mind work, to Don Bruce. I continue to be grateful that Don offers this work to us in Edmonton."
- Anonymous
"After suffering for years with pelvic pain and all-over pain as a side effect, I decided to pay a visit to Don. I didn’t really know what I was getting into, but at that point, I was willing to try anything. The amazing and intuitive work Don does with body psychology freed a lot of emotional holding that was going on, which finally set the stage for the healing to move to a new plateau. I would go as far as to say that not only did he begin my healing journey, but the healing of those who are close to me as well."
- Anonymous
“Being a molested child, I have sought all kinds of therapy for many years. Sessions with Don have changed my life profoundly; it is the best therapy I have experienced. I used to feel that I didn’t belong in the world, that I was a mistake somehow. I was scared to answer the phone -- the doorbell sent me straight into a panic attack. Since working with Don, I feel like I can go to the grocery store and it is OK for me to be there. I feel I am no better but no worse than anyone else, and that I belong on the planet.”
- Anonymous
I want to thank you Don for your help and your input, you were really helpful and encouraging, and introduced me to some different views which I find very interesting and am now using in my understanding of both myself and others.
- Gerry C
Related Topics
Coming apart to the core
I let myself come all apart to the core, and found out what it is within that cannot come apart, and lived from there, letting everything that came apart come back together, being patterned after what cannot come apart.
- John de Ruiter
Feeling and Emotions
When the I protects itself from feeling, then the I becomes emotional, turning feeling into an emotion which distances feeling. The more that you wear emotions, the less that you are able to feel. When you are being emotional, then you’re wearing a coat that is separate from you. The more that you’re doing something with that emotion, the more it is separate from you.
- John de Ruiter
Happiness and on Being Happy
The only genuinely happy person is that person that is unconditionally and warmly okay with not being happy. That is a happy person.
- John de Ruiter
How do we Heal
The source of healing is okayness. The source of dysfunction is not-okayness.
Everyone that is not home, lives in form with lameness and dysfunction. If you are living not being home, then you will discover yourself as being mentally and emotionally ill. And you will try and cover that.
- John de Ruiter
Taking Nothing Personal
Take nothing at all to heart of anything that comes up in your-self. While liking taking to heart everything that comes up that you Know; that you Know in your heart ...In liking what you Know in your heart, the rest of your system will work. It will start everything moving ...the old won't be lasting long, and the New is going to show.
- John de Ruiter
Relationship
Be the blood in the other’s body. Come together as your self’s fall apart. Each being the other’s life. Each of you completely unclipped and together, a love team.
- John de Ruiter
Living beyond survival - Being Real Womanness (this is not gender specific)
Cleanness is what is required to be a woman (this relates to both genders, man and woman)
A real woman is something that is beyond survival.
Needing to survive separates you from a very tender femininity.
Needing to survive, or identifying with survival, will make you masculine.
Real woman is beyond relating to survival.
Relating to survival distorts your womanness.
When you relate to survival, that brings in a hardness of heart.
Womanness becomes strength that it knows it is not.
That actual strength of womanness is transparency.
Transparency doesn’t relate to strength, it relates to realness.
Realness is beyond survival.
Real femininity is secure in transparency.
As soon as you either use your sexuality or neglect your sexuality, that makes you more masculine.
Being within your sexuality without needing to use it, without relating to it as a power to use, that brings in a real femininity.
Being quieted, even while being transparent—that allows your womanness to come through.
When you use your sexuality or neglect it, that would make anyone sexually lame.
Being transparent in a masculine way is you using being transparent.
Being transparent in a feminine way is you being transparent without needing to use it.
Relating to survival makes you coarsely masculine.
Relating to the using of power, having an appetite for power, makes you coarsely masculine.
Not needing to use your power for yourself allows real femininity to come through.
Real femininity doesn’t relate to the need of using power.
When you relate to survival then you’ll relate to needing to use your power.
When you relate to survival, then you become a controller.
To be truly androgynous, you have to integrate tenderness and gentleness.
Integrated masculinity is gentleness.
Integrated femininity is tenderness.
- John de Ruiter
Shadow Work - Eating your shadow -
https://toko-pa.com/2012/10/04/dreamspeak-eating-your-shadow
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-healing-crowd/201011/eating-the-shadow
I let myself come all apart to the core, and found out what it is within that cannot come apart, and lived from there, letting everything that came apart come back together, being patterned after what cannot come apart.
- John de Ruiter
Feeling and Emotions
When the I protects itself from feeling, then the I becomes emotional, turning feeling into an emotion which distances feeling. The more that you wear emotions, the less that you are able to feel. When you are being emotional, then you’re wearing a coat that is separate from you. The more that you’re doing something with that emotion, the more it is separate from you.
- John de Ruiter
Happiness and on Being Happy
The only genuinely happy person is that person that is unconditionally and warmly okay with not being happy. That is a happy person.
- John de Ruiter
How do we Heal
The source of healing is okayness. The source of dysfunction is not-okayness.
Everyone that is not home, lives in form with lameness and dysfunction. If you are living not being home, then you will discover yourself as being mentally and emotionally ill. And you will try and cover that.
- John de Ruiter
Taking Nothing Personal
Take nothing at all to heart of anything that comes up in your-self. While liking taking to heart everything that comes up that you Know; that you Know in your heart ...In liking what you Know in your heart, the rest of your system will work. It will start everything moving ...the old won't be lasting long, and the New is going to show.
- John de Ruiter
Relationship
Be the blood in the other’s body. Come together as your self’s fall apart. Each being the other’s life. Each of you completely unclipped and together, a love team.
- John de Ruiter
Living beyond survival - Being Real Womanness (this is not gender specific)
Cleanness is what is required to be a woman (this relates to both genders, man and woman)
A real woman is something that is beyond survival.
Needing to survive separates you from a very tender femininity.
Needing to survive, or identifying with survival, will make you masculine.
Real woman is beyond relating to survival.
Relating to survival distorts your womanness.
When you relate to survival, that brings in a hardness of heart.
Womanness becomes strength that it knows it is not.
That actual strength of womanness is transparency.
Transparency doesn’t relate to strength, it relates to realness.
Realness is beyond survival.
Real femininity is secure in transparency.
As soon as you either use your sexuality or neglect your sexuality, that makes you more masculine.
Being within your sexuality without needing to use it, without relating to it as a power to use, that brings in a real femininity.
Being quieted, even while being transparent—that allows your womanness to come through.
When you use your sexuality or neglect it, that would make anyone sexually lame.
Being transparent in a masculine way is you using being transparent.
Being transparent in a feminine way is you being transparent without needing to use it.
Relating to survival makes you coarsely masculine.
Relating to the using of power, having an appetite for power, makes you coarsely masculine.
Not needing to use your power for yourself allows real femininity to come through.
Real femininity doesn’t relate to the need of using power.
When you relate to survival then you’ll relate to needing to use your power.
When you relate to survival, then you become a controller.
To be truly androgynous, you have to integrate tenderness and gentleness.
Integrated masculinity is gentleness.
Integrated femininity is tenderness.
- John de Ruiter
Shadow Work - Eating your shadow -
https://toko-pa.com/2012/10/04/dreamspeak-eating-your-shadow
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-healing-crowd/201011/eating-the-shadow
Invictus
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley
DESIDERATA
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy."~ Max Ehrmann (1872–1945),
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy."~ Max Ehrmann (1872–1945),